lala_lalala
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« on: June 29, 2011, 06:47:47 AM » |
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I know, I know, it has been asked a million, bajillion times, but I still need an opinion based on the situation.
At the end of a school year last year, I admitted to my best friend that I like this boy. We shall name him Bob. Bob is a cool name. My best friend shall be... Katie. Also a cool name.
During the summer, her facebook announced that she was in a relationship but she told everyone that he didn't want everyone to know yet. We were texting and she asked me if I would be okay if she went out with Bob. Not wanting to be possessive, I told her I would be fine if they kept the PDA to a minimum.
It made me feel sick for days. After about eight months, they broke up. Bob and I are very good friends and he asked me for advice about their relationship. He said that she just wasn't the same in school and didn't feel the connection with her. Soon enough, they broke up.
One of my other good friends confronted me to tell me that Katie thought Bob broke up with her, because he liked me. I hadn't gotten over him since before I told Katie about it, so should I take on the relationship?
1). She knew I liked him and shouldn't gone out with him. I'm not saying it is payback, but I'm saying that I was still fine with her when she hurt me, is it that big of a deal for her to let me date him?
2). We are leadership together for an activity and I am afraid that it will compromise the group if Bob and I go out because she will be negative towards me and drama will start. This activity is very important to me.
3). A very trusted person talked to Katie and she said she was okay with it. I don't know if I believe that.
4). I really want this relationship. Bob and I have a great friendship and are really close and I just don't think Katie should be upset with me. Just because she got to him first, does it mean I no longer get a shot?
Please give me some advice.
Nothing sexual was involved in the relationship, that has nothing to do with it. The farthest it went was making out.
The activity is going to continue for this year and the next, so there is no way to wait until it is over, really, if I want to make a decision now.
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wordup
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« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2011, 07:06:17 AM » |
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Relationship are based upon trial.. It's not wrong .. U never know.. He might jus be the right guy
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ZayedaStar
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« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2011, 07:21:31 AM » |
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yeah
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amazingperson4life
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« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2011, 07:26:52 AM » |
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I think that it's fine to go out with Bob. If your friend is a true friend she'll understand. I mean, she did it to you (well you liked him, but kinda close) so I'm sure that she'll be fine with it. I think that you should talk to her before you make anymore decisions, but personally I think that it's fine for you to go out with him in this case. Hope that I helped and good luck!!!
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Becca__
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« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2011, 07:32:13 AM » |
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hey u shud just be the bigger person and not go out with him. cmon you know how that made you feel do u really want that 2 happen 2 anyone els expecially her
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xCrushh__
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« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2011, 07:38:14 AM » |
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It will probably cause some problems between you and your best friend, but wow, 8 months is actually quite a long time. I could see if it was just a couple weeks/a few months..But is she really over him? And yes I do think it was wrong on her part to date him even though she knew that you liked him. So I don't know. But just do it, as long as he feels the same way of course.
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Shanice
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« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2011, 07:45:55 AM » |
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no because you liked him first and she went out with him i did the same thing acctully i know where your comming from
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Imani
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« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2011, 07:48:42 AM » |
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See what she says but I personally wouldnt do it because sometimes stuff like that can get you into trouble with your best friends because they will always feel a type of way eep down inside as much as they do not express it to you but iif you really like him go for it but run it by your bff first.
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timo
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« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2011, 07:51:28 AM » |
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It's a hard call to make.
If you decide to date her you need to let your friend know. And be prepared to know that it could cost you your immediate friendship.
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pi_equals_3_141592
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« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2011, 08:06:30 AM » |
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If you think it was wrong for Katie to go out with Bob when she knew you liked him, then you should realize it's wrong for you to go out with Bob when you know she likes him. Even though the situation is a bit different, it would be hypocritical for you to be hurt by her for going out with the guy you like and for you to do similar damage to her...
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marqueen71
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« Reply #10 on: June 29, 2011, 08:11:54 AM » |
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"FRIENDS" do NOT do that.
Is it really a friend or do you plan to right this person off / end the friendship ?
Do you value your reputation ?
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Katera_Winkfield
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« Reply #11 on: June 29, 2011, 08:16:54 AM » |
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Yea go for it! Ppl might have that stupid friends don't date exes rule, but i don't agree. If Katie really loved you, she'd want you to be happy. After all, she did go out with him when you liked him. And if you like Bob and you know Bob likes you, then you're good to go. You deserve to be happy too! Everyone does! Just because she snagged him first means nothing! You liked him first! And she can take the broken heart. No offense to Katie, but if she didn't act the same in school and if she was all awkward with him, it's pretty obvious she's not very good with him and she should be over him cause they're exes. If she's not, too bad! She should be okay with it, just like you were okay with it! My friends and I don't believe in that rule. As long as the other girl approves. And she should if she cared at all about your happiness! I agree completely with Mr. Wordup up there.
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Nathan
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« Reply #12 on: June 29, 2011, 08:24:07 AM » |
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Normally I would say that it is a matter of honor that you don't date him but your "friend" did the dishonorable thing by dating this guy after you told her that you liked him, so its ok to date him as far as honor is concerned but the question you have to ask your self is why would you want his sloppy seconds, after all you don't know how intimate they were, he could have been plowing her furrow the whole time and could have every disease know to man, you just never can tell...
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Irv_S
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« Reply #13 on: June 29, 2011, 08:34:04 AM » |
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Well...........
As I understand the ''Gal Code', (remarkably similar to the 'Guy Code" in
this repect):You're supposed to ask, and she's supposed to say OK,
and you're expected to figure out whether she really means it or not, .........
just as she did with you at first.
Short answer, It's June. Wait until that important activity is about wound up,
and then go for it.
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Jasmine_Robinson
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« Reply #14 on: June 29, 2011, 08:39:05 AM » |
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1st of all this is super long and you don't have to read this Lolz =) Hi, I am a 4 year old girl and I understand your situation because mess like this happens to me all the time.. ahah trust me. AT first when I was reading this I was going to say it is never ok to go out with a "best friend Ex". But i think you should go out with him and she should understand you liked him for a long time and it wasn't because of you that they broke up. Well, tell you the truth he prob lay did like you when "Bob" and "Kate" was going out so he broke up with her to get with you because he knows you guys might have a good relationship. Yes, you should go out with him, but there will be drama even though there seems like there isn't any, "kate" still might have issues With you going out with her ex deep down" So, I think you should think it over for a long time think," Is going out with "Bob" worth (Maybe)losing my BEST FRIEND.! Because what if you guys break up like Bob and Kate then you'll be -1 Boyfriend and -1 Best Friend.. To stay on the safe side I would go out with him in secretly(not in a werid way Just make sure your friend doesn't know) , but in school gossip happens qwquicko it might easily ge back to her. See if you and Bob work out for a long time and if you guys are like madly in love you can tell Kate yoYourorry your going out with her Ex, but you have to because "Before" not while but before they was going out you had strong feelings for hihim andyou sorry to go out with her ex" (I'm sure if she's your best friend like 100% True she'll understand and will be ok with it) Unless she's crying over the break up Sorry about this super long Paragraph I just really wanted to help you out Because I understand what your going thought right now because this hhappenedto me :/ Good Luck I hope you find your Answer. =) And I hope you read this because it took me 20 mins to type  |
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