Pablito
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« on: June 18, 2011, 10:32:26 AM » |
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Wuz good. My first boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month now, and (maybe due to recently coming out in the last half year) I still find myself uncomfortable with PDA with him when we are out to the movies, at parks, shopping, etc. I'm just talking holding hands, hugging, and tasteful kissing...For some reason I feel like we are being looked at and judged in a way different than heterosexual couples would be. We've never experienced any hate, just some stares/whispering/pointing. We live in an affluent suburban city, generally liberal but seeing gay couples is not very common. So, since I'm pretty new to this relationship, and being out in general, I'd like to hear from other gay couples how they deal with "standing out" when in public, their experience and practice with PDA (esp. compared with heterosexual couples), and from heterosexual people on their reaction to seeing gay couples in public, displaying or not displaying affection.
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ShadowWalker
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« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2011, 10:54:18 AM » |
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As a straight girl, i have no problem with it. There is a lesbian couple in my class and a couple of gay/bi guys and girls so nobody really cares anymore.
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Dawn
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« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2011, 11:32:02 AM » |
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I'm not a lesbian, but I just need to say that I don't like watching ANY PDA. It's just... I don't know, I just don't like it. So just know that some of the people that you think are judging you might not really be at all.
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Nikki_Dubs
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« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2011, 11:36:49 AM » |
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I saw an awesome quote a few months ago that summed it up pretty easily: "I hold my girlfriend's hand in public because my love for her is stronger than a stranger's hate."
I've been out for almost seven years, and sometimes I still get uncomfortable with PDA because I'm acutely aware of the fact that people could be looking at me. It's unfortunately a big reality for same-sex couples, because we're "outside of the norm." No one looks at straight couples holding hands because we live in a heteronormative society--everyone assumes everyone else is straight, until told otherwise. The only thing you can do is remember that quote, and ignore how other people are reacting. I've never experienced any obvious hate either, apart from some dirty/disgusted looks and maybe some whispering here and there. I've realized that I don't notice it if I don't look for it. That's what you need to do.
You can't control how other people are going to react to how you interact with your boyfriend in public. But you shouldn't let those reactions control you, or your decisions.
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xoxo
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« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2011, 11:41:55 AM » |
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There's nothing wrong with it  |
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Steve_Reed
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« Reply #5 on: June 18, 2011, 11:46:50 AM » |
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Well if it makes you feel that uncomfortable then don't do it. But if you want to go ahead! Its 2011! People these days are a lot more open to gays. Just ignore the world and be with the one you care about. Do whatever you want regardless of what other people say.
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slippery_when_wet
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« Reply #6 on: June 18, 2011, 11:54:21 AM » |
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Congrats. I don't like PDA's period but I think if someone wants to hold hands non-making out kissing/touching they should be allowed. I never do it, in fact when my bf and I are out in public we act like friends its both what we want, at home its a different story.
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lil
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« Reply #7 on: June 18, 2011, 12:01:37 PM » |
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Hi, I'm a straight married girl. I happen to think gay pda is cute. But then again I think all pda is cute. As long as I don't walk by any couple having sex in public, that would not be cute. Kissing is kewl as long as I don't have to see an entire tongue down someone's throat, I might hesitate breaking them up due to worrying about asphyxiation!! Holding hands is just downright delicious. An arm around a waist is also fine. It depends on how far you go. Plus, you're gonna have disapproving people no matter where you go, no matter what you do. Especially if you're a biracial couple, as my husband and me.
If you're not comfortable with something, you shouldn't do it. If you want to be comfortable doing it, build up to it. Rome wasn't built in one day.
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rebelbabe
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« Reply #8 on: June 18, 2011, 12:06:37 PM » |
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personally I don't like seeing PDA gay or straight, saying that I am in Ireland where the catholic church still rules over people, not as bad as it used to be
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