I’m 20 years old and am from Talladega, Alabama[ ]. [When asked about the one thing I remember [most] about my childhood, I remember how I used to love listening to what older people did in their lives].
Some of my [fondest] memories [are] [from] when I moved to Georgia and I stayed with my father, I [would never listen to what he said until I started getting older and I soon discovered that he was mostly right!]
I grew up in a single home [as] both of my parents were separated. I [received a high school education] and [it was my hope] to go to college after high school. I am thankful of Jesus Christ because without him I [would not] make it, and of my parents because [they have been, and will be there for me] no matter what I do.
When I was a teenager [I liked to travel around and visit places as I preferred to occupy myself with a busy and active day rather than being indoors]. [Years later I have remained the same with my active lifestyle and participate in cheer-leading as one of my more prominent hobbies]. [My friends and I love to party too and my favorite singer is Keyshia Cole].
Regarding my career, when I grew up I wanted to [become] a teacher and make a difference for young children. [After leaving] school I wanted to go to college and make something out of [myself]. [I have never had a job though I care for my month old son.] My child is precious because he puts a smile on my face.
My greatest achievement in life was walking across the stage *(((EXPLAIN)))*
My personal goal is to make money through my own ambition and hard work. My professional goal is to earn a degree. My academic goal is to achieve everything that is to be achieved. Things that make me happy in the future is to earn everything on my own. I can contribute to a better future by helping out the homeless.
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It's not perfect but i changed some sentences and punctuation around to make it flow better so you get some ideas.
Good luck!
